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A lot of realistic common sense here Julia!

A daughter is a policy planner for the Dept of Child Safety. A very clever young woman. When she told me last year 'things are not always about you Mum', I thought she was saying I was self-absorbed. But what she clarified she meant was that people have their own problems and they are not related to me at all.

For weeks I had a disruptive belligerent behaviour issue with a new senior student and I thought it was a personality problem with me. After talking with several of her other teachers and a GO last week I discovered her attitude was in all her classes and based on her problems with her sexuality and weekend substance abuse. She had come to our school/town because her family had turned their back on her and she had been sacked from her recent part-time job. She is now receiving counselling.

You're spot on in saying when we think we are 'OK' we expect others to think we are too. When we feel we're not OK we look for confirmation by others.

Maybe when we're depressed we tend to be self centred. Maybe we don't notice we don't solicit other people's interests and problems?

When the negatives prevail they need to be refuted... challenge yourself to see why your interpretation may be off the mark?

<blockquote data-quote="Doris" data-source="post: 267282" data-attributes="member: 12356">A lot of realistic common sense here Julia!A daughter is a policy planner for the Dept of Child Safety. A very clever young woman. When she told me last year &#039;things are not always about you Mum&#039;, I thought she was saying I was self-absorbed. But what she clarified she meant was that people have their own problems and they are not related to me at all.For weeks I had a disruptive belligerent behaviour issue with a new senior student and I thought it was a personality problem with me. After talking with several of her other teachers and a GO last week I discovered her attitude was in all her classes and based on her problems with her sexuality and weekend substance abuse.&nbsp; She had come to our school/town because her family had turned their back on her and she had been sacked from her recent part-time job.&nbsp; She is now receiving counselling.You&#039;re spot on in saying when we think we are &#039;OK&#039; we expect others to think we are too.&nbsp; When we feel we&#039;re not OK we look for confirmation by others.Maybe when we&#039;re depressed we tend to be self centred. Maybe we don&#039;t notice we don&#039;t solicit other people&#039;s interests and problems?When the negatives prevail they need to be refuted... challenge yourself to see why your interpretation may be off the mark?</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Doris, post: 267282, member: 12356"] A lot of realistic common sense here Julia! A daughter is a policy planner for the Dept of Child Safety. A very clever young woman. When she told me last year 'things are not always about you Mum', I thought she was saying I was self-absorbed. But what she clarified she meant was that people have their own problems and they are not related to me at all. For weeks I had a disruptive belligerent behaviour issue with a new senior student and I thought it was a personality problem with me. After talking with several of her other teachers and a GO last week I discovered her attitude was in all her classes and based on her problems with her sexuality and weekend substance abuse. She had come to our school/town because her family had turned their back on her and she had been sacked from her recent part-time job. She is now receiving counselling. You're spot on in saying when we think we are 'OK' we expect others to think we are too. When we feel we're not OK we look for confirmation by others. Maybe when we're depressed we tend to be self centred. Maybe we don't notice we don't solicit other people's interests and problems? When the negatives prevail they need to be refuted... challenge yourself to see why your interpretation may be off the mark? [/QUOTE]

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